America’s five most popular sexual fantasies


It’s largely an open secret that many of us enjoy harbouring some kinky sexual thoughts and crave a different-from-norm sexual fantasy.

In fact, according to a study by The Journal of Sex Research, nearly half of all adults have one or more sexual desires and fantasies that can be classified as “non-normophilic”, which essentially means most of us love to be freaks-in-the-sheets. However, this brings to mind the question of which sexual fantasies most people think about the most.

To answer this question, Justin Lehmiller, a sex researcher, conducted a huge study comprising of over 4,000 Americans to discover more about their sexual lives and what really turns them on. In his book, Tell Me What You Want, he reveals the most popular sexual fantasies for adults in the United States.

While fetishes can differ from person to person, here are some of the most common fetishes you may have heard of (or even maybe tried out) before now.

1. Group-sex

This ranks as the most popular sexual fantasy in the US—and even arguably, the entire world. There’s hardly an adult out there who hasn’t fantasized about having sexual relations with more than one person involved.

According to the survey by Lehmiller, a whopping 89 per cent of the respondents admitted fantasizing about engaging in a threesome, 74 per cent wanted to have an orgy, while 61 per cent would entertain the idea of being in a gang-bang session.

In typical fashion, most heterosexual men reported wanting to engage in a threesome with two women, while most of the women were quite agnostic with the gender configuration and didn’t really care so much if it was two women or two men involved. Additionally, for participants who had partners, they were keen on involving their partners in their group sex fantasies.

2. BDSM sex

After the popularity of the Fifty Shades of Grey franchise, interest in BDSM seems to be a lot more common. In America, it is the second most popular fantasy with 60 per cent of respondents saying they would like to inflict some level of physical pain on their partner during sex.

The most common BDSM fantasies were whipping, biting, and spanking—but nothing too extreme. Most people just want to experience relatively mild pain that had controlled limits and was consensual.

Additionally, 65 per cent of the participants said they would love to be submissive to their partners, pointing to the fact that giving up control in the bedroom is a bigger turn-on than dominance.

“More Americans want to give up control rather than take control during sex,” said Lehmiller in the report.

3. Taboo sex

As humans, we tend to be wildly attracted to things that are largely considered a taboo or forbidden and it comes as no surprise that this extends to our sexual desires too.

Of all the common taboo sexual fantasies, voyeurism ranks highest. This is basically, getting sexually excited from watching others while they are nude or engaging in sexual acts. Contrary to the “Peeping Tom” version that might come to mind, a lot of people enjoy voyeurism as a fetish and explore it in different ways such as with a live sex cam.

“Personally, I am really into voyeurism because it’s a different way to experience sex. You’re not in the sex but you’re seeing it, noticing what gives someone pleasure, seeing when someone moans the loudest in what position. It’s exhilarating,” said 25-year-old Michelle in a Cosmopolitan report.

Other popular taboo fetishes can include getting turn-on by common objects such as shoes, bras, panties, stockings and boots.

4. New and adventurous sex

It’s normal to get bored of doing the same things over and over again, especially when it comes to our sexual experience.

There’s the tendency to grow weary of sexual routines and for most people, sexual novelties can help reawaken our interest and passion for sex. That’s why many people have fetishes that involve doing things they have never done before, whether bondage sex, public sex, or even surprisingly, anal sex.

5. Partner sharing

Unlike orgies or threesomes, partner sharing, or non-monogamy involves both partners agreeing to have certain types of sexual activity with others.

In fact, nearly 80 per cent of men and 62 per cent of women in America have fantasized about being in either an open relationship or an open marriage where they can mutually engage in sexual activities with an outsider.

On a final note, there are many sexual fantasies to be intrigued about and while in some societies, exploring your sexual fantasies can be limiting, the key is to always seek consent and spice up your sex life wherever possible.