Dear Amy: I have been in a relationship for 13 years.

I am over 50 and I am really getting sick and tired of being disregarded when I am referred to as the “girlfriend.”

I feel that being the girlfriend implies a temporary thing, and I feel other women disregard me when they hear the word “girlfriend.”

I have never been so insecure in my life, but now I feel like I have to constantly worry about my future.

My boyfriend has me on his life insurance, but he has no will.

I don’t think he understands the feeling of having to worry that if he passes on, I will have to leave our home, as I have no legal rights to fight for it.

— Lost

Dear Lost: I understand your objection to the term “girlfriend.” And yet you referred to your sweetheart as your “boyfriend.” Does he mind this? Does he worry about how other men see him?

I must admit to a 180 degree change in my own opinion of use of the word “partner” to describe serious long-term relationships. I used to think that “partner” sounded like a descriptor better suited to a law firm than a love relationship. Now, I think it sounds just right. What are married couples, really, other than partners-in-life?

You should do some research on laws in your state regarding “common-law” relationships and “domestic partnerships.” Some states seem to regard longtime cohabiting couples with some of the same legal rights as married couples, although, based on my own research, it is still legally advantageous to be married (which is one reason same-sex couples have fought so hard for it).

Mediation would help you and your guy to sort out some of these lingering issues and could help you and he to settle some important matters having to do with property, possessions, etc. And yes, you should both have a will! A will is especially important, for the reasons you cite.

I infer that you want to be married – for practical reasons, but also possibly for other reasons. If he is resistant or refuses, then you will have a big decision to make, regarding whether you would rather be a girlfriend or an ex-girlfriend.